Don’t do it, even if Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid thinks that’s what you’re made of.

If you hadn’t heard, Arizona Sen. Reid creatively pitched for the new $15 billion Obama jobs bill as a way to reduce violence against women. Yeah, I guess that’s something we can all agree on.

For the record, we’re against all forms of spousal abuse here, even if we don’t support the government’s approach to the recession (i.e., nationalize everything that moves). The reverse of that question–”have you stopped beating your wife?”–used to be the classic example of the Unanswerable Question. Along with the admonition not to make eye contact with a stranger in any bar in West Texas, lest you be asked: “Yew see something yew lahk?”

Uh, I think I hear my mom calling…

Now, there may actually be a little something to what Harry blithely asserted, based on rigorous empirical evidence (conversations with constituents). Domestic violence also tends to go up during the holidays, when couples and their families are in greater and more prolonged proximity to each other. That’s pretty much the same thing that happens when one partner is unemployed and suddenly has nowhere to go for half his waking hours.

If the more couples are together, the greater the incidence of violence, then the solution ought to be clear: Legal limits on how much time couples can spend together. Make it enforceable by a progressive tax–i.e., placing the most domestically involved into the very highest income tax brackets.

Fly-over country might not like it–but, hey, let them get their own cable news channels, newspapers and movie studios.

By the way, there’s one other social phenomenon that’s up during this Great Recession: Suicide. For the first time since the Great Depression, there is now an empirically verifiable correlation between the suicide rate and the unemployment rate.

Sure, people don’t like estate taxes. But maybe, just maybe, the answer to people dying is raising taxes on them for doing so.

Wouldn’t it be great if people stopped doing all this doggone dying?

I know I’m overdue for an update here on my pursuit of a small business franchise opportunity. Well, there simply hasn’t been much to report while I continue the search for that elusive critter–initial start-up capital.

However, that search has turned up something I must share: All of us–yes, this means you–need to see our credit reports. You might be shocked. I certainly was.

After nearly 38 years of marriage and a spotless record of paying our bills on time, we are the proud owners of an excellent credit rating, in the high 700s. The only thing keeping us out of the highest percentiles was the very recent accumulation of debt for an unsuccessful e-commerce venture. That substantial debt resides on two credit cards that are a challenge for us to pay down so long as I continue to be unemployed.

Now, under most circumstances, that wouldn’t be a big deal. Our score is still well above average. But when you’ve got your hand out for a small business loan, the littlest things can mean a lot. Like an overdue library book.

No, I’m not kidding. Unbeknownst to us, it turns out that the Pikes Peak Library District had turned us over to a collection agency and reported us as deadbeats to the credit authorities for a $41 overdue fine that we knew absolutely nothing about.

How can that be, you ask? Here’s how:

Apparently, when our youngest child, now 21, was still a minor, she took out a book that she ended up losing. She then also proceeded to lose her library card, too, but that’s another story. (If you knew this child, you would nod your head at this point in total understanding.) Perhaps the library district sent overdue notices to this child. We’ll never know.

What we do know is that because she was a minor, this debt magically transferred to her parents (moi).  Except that we never received any such notification. Nada. But you know what they say: Ignorance of the law is no excuse. Steve and Mary Jane Adams, without knowing it, had become Scoundrels. Scofflaws. Deadbeats. Disqualified for small business loans.

How can this be, you ask? We’re still not too sure. But, again apparently, at some point in this process our offspring attained majority and, because of privacy laws in America, her business was no longer any of our business. Got that?

So, how can we legally be on the hook for something that legally we aren’t entitled to know anything about? Hey, that’s what we’d like to know. Get in line. And chalk it up to the 21st century nanny-state state of American jurisprudence.

Does this sound like a Catch-22? No doubt. Think it can’t happen to you? Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. I think we’re eventually going to work our way out of this just fine.

But then, I’ve been wrong before, you know?

Suppose you don’t get another job, but you pursue elf-employment. How do you price your services?

Here’s one formula for calculating a billable hourly rate, which I have adapted from several sources (including personal experience):

Work backward. Say an in-house staffer would be paid $45,000 a year for the same work in your locale. That’s the market rate. Divide by 1,500, which is the number of billable hours you might reasonably expect in a year (thirty hours a week times fifty weeks), considering client development, marketing, and other nonbillable time, yielding a base of $30 an hour.

In all cases, adapt this to your personal situation. If, for example, you really are billing out 40 hours a week, your annual hourly factor would be 2,000 (40 hours a week times 50 weeks).

Then add another 33 percent to cover the cost of taxes and fringe benefits that you bear (for example, Social Security, health insurance and retirement) plus another factor for your own costs of doing business (overhead, such as rent, equipment, supplies). Some accountants use a 35 percent factor for fringe costs.

The overhead cost factor will vary much more, depending on the nature of your business. If you’re a writer, like me, you may not have much more than the costs of a personal computer, paper, long-distance phone calls and the like. Check with an accountant for guidance.

In our hypothetical case, those three calculations would look like this:

$30 (base rate) + $10 (33 percent fringes) + $6 (20 percent overhead) = $46 per hour.

Therefore, you know you would be charging a fair rate somewhere  around $45 to $50 an hour.With a little research you also may be able to obtain suggested flat fee  schedules from professional organizations and publications. That gives you the flexibility to bid a job two different ways.

If you’re really hungry, the flat fee is more likely to win the job because your prospective client knows his expense is capped. The downside for you is that things generally take longer than projected, and you may end up eating those costs.

How many times has this happened to you?

You get to work and learn that plans have to be changed because a co-worker was just involved in a traffic accident on the way to work and won’t be in today. Not an every-day occurrence, but it happens. Maybe you’ve even been the victim.

Considering the daily commuting miles racked up every day by millions of U.S. workers, it adds up to a staggering total. So staggering that one expert estimates that if every employee whose work could be done from home (about 40 percent of all jobs) telecommuted even half the time, 150,000 fewer people a year would be killed or injured in traffic accidents.

Now, that’s significant. Moreover, this same source estimates that the total financial savings would be sufficient to pay for universal health care. Of course, that involves other public policy considerations, but the point is we’re talking some big numbers here–and some big unrealized opportunities.

Check out the rest of the story at Fresh Inc.

Suppose you’re ready to take the plunge: You want to get out of a frustrating job–or get out of even more frustrating unemployment–by going into business for yourself. What sort of business should that be?

The first thing to consider is what kind of entrepreneur are you wired to be? In other words, what E-type are you?

Rhonda Abrams and USA Today (see yesterday’s post) have helped with that question by developing an E-type Test.  I took the test and was not surprised to find my type is the Communicator/Trainer. Here’s the rundown of all nine types:

1. Advisor/Counselor: has significant experience and knowledge that others are willing to pay for. Gaining the credibility needed to star in this E-type takes time, but the best of the best command high fees.
2. Builder/Creator: excels at making things, whether it’s paintings, wedding cakes, or skyscrapers. Starting out can be slow — it takes time to become established in this E-type. But long-term rewards can be great.
3. Caregiver/Maintainer: capable of providing consistent, reliable, nurturing care to others. Often, the work is hard and the pay is low, but for this special type of person, job satisfaction is what matters.
4. Communicator/Trainer: exceptionally good with words — whether written or verbal — and excels at communicating complex ideas to others. Competition in these fields is fierce, but so is demand.
5. Entertainer/Host: thrives on being with — or in front of — other people. This outgoing person enjoys the spotlight, can command the attention of an audience and loves making others happy.
6. Investor/Owner: good with numbers, good with money, willing to take carefully calculated risks, and has available (or is able to raise) investment funds. The risks and rewards can be great.
7. Organizer/Administrator: keeps things running like clockwork. They excel at managing multiple tasks, details and deadlines. They don’t need to be the star of the show, but without them, there is no show.
8. Seller/Broker: an enviable E-Type. Every industry needs the services of competent salespeople. Good Seller/Brokers can make a nice living; great ones can make more money than almost any other E-Type.
9. Technologist/Engineer: the person who designs, makes, sells or services all those gadgets the rest of us need but can’t figure out. They, of course, are paid well, but competition is getting fiercer.

Take the test for yourself here.

Would you be surprised to know that new business start-ups are on the rise even (maybe especially) in the middle of a very down economy?

That’s actually not unusual. When jobs are scarce, more people try their hand at starting their own business. And the success rate for such enterprises is reportedly no different from the norm.  In either case, about half will fail in their first five years, according to the Small Business Administration’s Office of Advocacy.

USA Today has been contributing some helpful reports on this subject, including this from author/consultant Rhonda Abrams:

History proves that a bad economy can be a great time to grow a company. In fact, many companies that are households were launched during tough economic times—companies like Burger King, Tootsie Roll, MTV, J Crew, Whole Foods—all started in bad economies. In fact, more than half the companies that make up the Fortune 500 or Dow Industrial Average started during the Depression or recession.

You know, it’s not just a fluke. When times are tough, opportunities abound, especially for small businesses and the self-employed. Why? In a word—change. Now, think about it. In good times customers don’t need to change much. But in bad times customers are looking for new options. They’re more willing to try new products, new services, new companies. It all means opportunities for you.

What about you? Have you considered going the entrepreneurial route? It just might be the way out for you.

Intimidated by the complexity of the challenge? That’s natural. It’s also something that can be addressed. Don’t touch that e-dial. We aim to help right here.

That bastion of selflessness on behalf of seniors, the AARP, is reporting that the disproportionately high rate of unemployment for 50-plusers may be easing. That apparently depends, however, on whether you believe the highly questionable official account of overall unemployment dropping in January from 10 to 9.7 percent.

And if so, let’s talk about some great real estate deals I  just happen to have an inside track on…

But hark, was that a robin of spring I hear? Even the mainstream mediocracy is starting to get suspicious. Here’s what the LA Times reported by way of counterpoint:

But the percentage of long-term unemployed workers older than 55 has doubled since the start of the recession. Nearly 51% have been jobless for more than 27 weeks as of January, compared with 23% in December 2007. And older job seekers have been on the hunt for a longer period of time – 35.9 weeks on average compared with 34.7 weeks in December 2009. For applicants younger than 55, the average duration is 27.8 weeks.

Of the 27.4-million mature workers who are still employed – up 4.5% from the start of the recession – more than 1.4 million had to work part time in January for economic reasons.

Last month, the number of older, discouraged workers rose 17%, from 236,000 people who said they were not looking for jobs to 202,000 in December 2009, compared with just 53,000 in December 2007. Many were certain that no work was available, while others worried that employers would discriminate against them because of age or lack of education or training.

And then the Service Corps (not Corpse, Mr. President) of Retired Executives (SCORE) reported a bright spot for seniors–entrepreneurship and self-employment:

Entrepreneurship among seniors is growing. In 2002, the rate of self-employment for the workforce was 10.2 percent (13.8 million workers), but the rate for workers aged 50 was 16.4 percent (5.6 million workers). Although those age 50 made up 25 percent of the workforce, they comprised 40 of the self-employed. Solo business formation in the future will be driven by people who take early retirement or whose jobs just disappear. (Source: AARP/Rand Corp. “Self-employment and the 50 Population”)

And, finally

The following item from the Washington Post has absolutely nothing–and yet somehow everything–to do with what we’ve been discussing:

Confused about the true unemployment situation? The administration trumpets an unexpected drop in the unemployment rate when other indicators show just the opposite. What gives?

Apples & oranges would be the charitable assessment. Hype, spin & politics might be more apropos. Too many games are being played with the counting of people out of work versus those still considered active job seekers, those who have given up looking, those involuntarily working part-time , etc.

Back to Work routinely screens many sources in an effort to provide reliable information. Because of our contrarian views, we have been maligned–sometimes in unspeakably vile terms–and even banned from a LinkedIn discussion freelance group. (Between Right & Left, guess which side honestly stands for freedom of speech?)

When it comes to the true unemployment situation, I’m afraid the pronouncements of the current administration can no longer be dignified with any semblance of credibility. They would have you believe that not only have many thousands of jobs been saved or created, but that even the overall unemployment picture is on the rebound. Happy days are here again, etc.

Hardly.

For those who prefer reality to fairy tales, there’s one simple measure of progress: Forget how many people are out of work who might not still be looking. How many Americans are actually still employed now versus pre-Great Recession?

For those who have a head for numbers and economics statistics, I highly recommend further exploration of this site. Thank God that through alternative media the mainstream media no longer enjoy a monop0ly on information in America.

It was an interesting multimedia experience when I addressed a gathering of job seekers last night in Florida, sponsored by the Central Florida Employment Council. I was actually still here in chilly Colorado, recovering from a nasty gut bug that’s been ravaging our family.

First there was a 25-minute Back to Work! PowerPoint presentation I had sent them on CD. Then we did a few minutes of Q&A follow-up via a Skype connection. It was a bit disconcerting to be speaking with people who could see me on a projection screen while I could only hear them. I didn’t even know how many people were there until the applause at the end, which suggested a pretty large group.

One woman wanted to know more about The Call, an occupational & personality inventory I have singled out for special praise. It’s been a while since I plugged it here, so I want to do that again. The Call is a faith-based instrument developed and distributed by Denver career coach Russ Minary of Get on Purpose. Again, I highly recommend it.

Incidentally, it was through The Call that I learned that the occupational field I was most suited for was something I didn’t even know existed–database administrator. Well, I guess I’m going to find out all about it. That’s one of the three tracks I signed up with Microsoft to take through their on-line Elevate America training. (See yesterday’s post “Are you tech-enough?”)

Another person wanted some advice on starting a jobless ministry at her church. I suggested checking out some of the other good models already out there. An especially good one is the Job Seekers NetWORK at Grace Church in Cleveland (Middleburg Heights, Ohio). Check it out at http://gracenetwork.blogspot.com/. Leader Jim Jasko welcomes inquiries. E-mail: gracenetwork@googlegroups.com.

Finally, this very Web site published a rundown of some other excellent resources and examples of jobless ministries around the country. You can revisit that resource here.

Chances are, probably not. Many of us aren’t.

Frequently cited stats from the federal Bureau of Labor Statistics say more than half of today’s jobs require some technical skills–and over the next 10 years that’s expected to grow to 77 percent.

I think it’s safe to say that anybody who’s not growing in technical expertise is slipping into reverse–not acceptable in today’s killer economy. And of course, by technical we’re referring primarily to information and computer technology. Anyone lacking basic familiarity with the Adobe and Microsoft family of software applications is at an extreme competitive disadvantage today in the employment market.

I have attempted to remedy that deficit for myself by taking some classes at the local university. But I’m still not as far along as I probably need to be. So, I’m considering taking it even farther by pursuing certification in some of those skills. The good news is that this is one of those fields getting some attention in response to the Great Recession.

Here’s a biggie: Microsoft is offering free on-line certification training in cooperation with about a dozen states through an initiative called Elevate America. Check it out:

Then please let me know if this turns out to be helpful for you. Colorado is one of the states. So, I’ll be checking it out, too.